BP asks Cameron for help with their Macondo bill, after they wrote a blank cheque without enough strings attached to it.

"We are a company that operates in the private sector.When that goes well for us, and we make pre-tax profits of $39.8bn we operate 605 high-secrecy tax-avoiding subsidiaries to swerve paying  HMRC our fair share. It seems we’ve screwed up while taking a massive risk, ALTHOUGH IT SHOULD BE POINTED OUT THAT THAT MASSIVE RISK WAS IN EVERYONE’S INTEREST!! Please now use some of the tax revenue we actually did pay to subsidise us to do more of the same.”

Who do you think you are? A Bank?

Can I just venture at this point that Prometheus will almost certainly turn out to be the most over-hyped release this year? Part of this is down to their marketing campaign, which is pretty old-school. (Yes, I could do better) Rather than being all Dark-Knight about it, with elusive websites, the odd photo, and letting us fill in the gaps ourselves, they seem to have employed a PR army to make sure that every fucker who’s speaking anywhere is speaking about Prometheus and how it’s Ridley Scott’s return to sci-fi. This is very 1989. The other reason I’m confident that Prometheus will be disappointing is this, which is my IMHO guide to the films of Ridley Scott: